Friday, April 26, 2013

A Cultural Divide or a Fork in the Road



There is an age old debate about Black men when it comes to performing oral sex.

There has been this stigma that black men don’t go down south for one reason or another.

Some black woman have complained at one time or another that they do the deed for their mates or husbands but feel left out when it comes to receiving this pleasure themselves.

These women are left baffled at what to do to get their man to take a trip to south beach and enjoying what it has to offer.

Many magazines, radio talk shows and online social networks have had this conversation so I thought would give my input on the subject.

I’ve heard reasons from it being a hygiene thing to religious views.

Hell sit in any barber shop and you might hear men running from this topic with a simple “that’s not me man”.

These objectors have no problem with being the receiver of this wonderful gift but are just not in the spirit of giving.

For the record I’m not buying that this is a cultural thing but quite the contrary.

You see in most cases this is more of it being a selfish thing.

It's his fork in the road.

Oh sure some men have their druthers for one reason or another but for the most part it's selfishness.

Sure black men say that giving oral to their lady is not for them.

Yes indeed but you can probably find just as many white women with the same complaint about their white husbands or boyfriends.

In fact you may find this complaint from people of many ethnic backgrounds.

There are different strokes for different folks.

So what is a woman to do when it comes to this one sided dilemma in the bedroom?

Well if you have not already tried this.

You might try some gentle persuasion by arching your back while slightly moving upwards directing his head to your sweet spot with your hand.

The next time he directs you to take him, whisper in his ear “you first”.

You might remove giving him oral from your repertoire (see how he likes not getting what he wants).

Okay, maybe you don’t have resort to being vindictive (But make sure he gets the point).

This still is probably the best and first approach; which is simply asking him what the deal is?

You never know what you might discover by simply asking.

Sex is very important part of relationships and it is at its absolute best when both parties are satisfied to the bone; right down to the soul bone.

Telling your man you sexual needs is just as important… wait scratch that.

It’s more important to tell him your needs than to let him be ignorant to what he is not giving you in bed.

Adults should not be afraid to discuss sex and the different ways to enjoy it.

Nevertheless it’s the elephant in the room for a lot of couples. So that’s my two cents for what it’s worth. So ladies if you have tried the things I’ve suggested and after all of your efforts he still does not feel the desire to reciprocate.

It comes down to you facing that fork in the road and having to make a choice.

The choice is to continue to be dissatisfied with the quality of sex you are getting from this man be it he’s black, white, yellow or brown or decide if you may be best suited to find yourself another mouth to feed.

Written By:
Larry D. Miller